Baby, we have been together for a long, long time You get home from work and then we just turn out the lights Lately, I've been dreamin': you in leather; me in lace Let's put up the teddy bears, and get out the whips and chains Give me weed instead of roses Bring me whiskey 'stead of wine Every puff, every shot, you're lookin' better all the time I don't need a card from Hallmark Box of candy, heaven knows Give me weed instead of roses And let's see where it goes Honey, you don't have to worry There ain't no one else for me But lately we have fallen under the same routine I ain't getting any younger, oh, but you don't seem to care Let's trade in the boxers for some sexy underwear Give me weed instead of roses Get me whiskey 'stead of wine Every puff, every shot, you're lookin' better all the time I don't need a card from Hallmark Box of candy, heaven knows Give me weed instead of roses And let's see where it goes Let's send the kids to grandma Call in sick to work Put on some heavy metal Rip the phone off of the hook Go call your no-good brother We both know what he's been growing I'll be waiting with the whipped cream And, baby, let's get going Get me weed instead of roses Give me whiskey 'stead of wine Every puff, every shot, you're lookin' better all the time I don't need a card from Hallmark Box of candy, heaven knows Give me weed instead of roses And let's see where it goes You pull out the Polaroid And I'll strike a couple ṗoses Let's get a little wild Bring me weed instead of roses