[MR. BUMBLE (spoken)] Liberal terms, Mr. Sowerberry...Liberal terms? Three pounds! [SOWERBERRY (spoken)] Well, as a matter of fact, I was needing a boy.... [MR. BUMBLE] He's a born undertaker's mute. I can see him in his black silk suit. Following behind the funeral procession... With his features fixed in a suitable expression. There'll be horses with tall black plumes To escort us to the family tombs, With mourners In all corners Who've been taught to weep in tune. Then the coffin lined with satin. That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] Large enough to wear your hat in. That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] We're just here to glamourise you for that Endless sleep. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY] You might just as well look fetching When you're six feet deep. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] At the wake we'll drink a toddy To the body beautiful. [MR. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Not our funeral. [BOTH] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] If you're fond of overeating That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] Starve yourself by undereating That's your funeral. [THE FUNERAL PROCESSION] That's your funeral? [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Visualize the earth descending on you clod by clod. You can't come back when you're buried Underneath the ...sod. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY] We will not reduce our prices. Keep your vices usual. [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERY] Not our funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Not our funeral. [ALL] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] I don't think this song is funny. [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] Here's the boy, now where's the money? [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] We don't harbour thoughts macabre, There's no need to frown. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWEBERRY] In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down. We love coughs and wheezes And diseases called incurable. That's your funeral. No one else's funeral. [SOWERBERRY] That's your... [MRS. SOWEBERRY] That's your... [BOTH] Funeral!