When you express yourself on the world wide web And put something out there in the public trust No matter what you say someone will find a way To call you names that would make a teamster blush (Seriously, I once got called a name I had to look up on Wikipedia. It was gross) Oh you could find a cure for cancer And post it online to give away And though you're saving lives someone will theorize That you're doing it all because you're gay Because there's always an a-hole on the internet Somebody with an axe to grind They act like juveniles and they're always spewing bile And giving you a piece of their small minds Now, whenever a stupid person gives me a piece of his mind I just say "hey, you better hang on to that You really don't have the resources to be giving away pieces of your mind You might need that to regulate your body temperature, remember how to breathe Oh, your house could get destroyed by a twister And they put the story online in the news Somewhere in the comments section someone will insist That the twister was the work of the Jews You could post a picture of your puppy Playing with a sprinkler in the grass And though most folks would say "that's swell" Someone will be compelled To Photoshop that pup up someone's ass Because there's always an a-hole on the internet Somebody with nothing better to do They're a comments section hog because no one reads their blog And they have to prove that they know more than you Oh yes, there's always an a-hole on the internet Any time any place anywhere Ignorant chauvinists bragging about their hard... discs ("Hard disc" it's a computer thing, I swear) You know that an a-hole will be there Oh, online an a-hole's always there