In Old Mexico

歌詞

Spoken introduction on An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer: The outpatients are out in force tonight, I see, good! Now... I'm sure you're all aware that this week is National Gall Bladder Week,and so as sort of an educational feature at This point I thought I would acquaint you with some of the Results of my recent researches into the career of the late Doctor Samuel Gall, inventor of the gall bladder, which Certainly ranks as one of the more important technological Advances since the invention of the joy buzzer and the dribble Glass. Dr. Gall's faith in his invention was so dramatically vindicated Last year, as you no doubt recall, when, for the first time In history in a nationwide poll, the gall bladder was voted Among the top ten organs. His educational career began, interestingly enough, in Agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, Until they...caught him at it one day... whereupon he switched To the field of medicine, in which field he also won renown as The inventor of gargling, which prior to that time had been Practiced only furtively by a remote tribe in the Andes who Passed the secret down from father to son as part of their Oral tradition. He soon became a specialist, specializing in diseases of the Rich. He was therefore able to retire at an early age... To the land we all dream about: sunny Mexico, of course, The last part of which is completely irrelevant, as was the Whole thing, I guess, except it's a rather sneaky way of Getting into this next type of popular song, which is one Of those things about that magic and romantic land south of The border. When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara Then I long to be back once again In Old Mexico Where we lived for today, never giving a thought to tomara To the strumming of guitars In a hundred grubby bars I would whisper: "Te amo!" The mariachis would serenade And they would not shut up till they were paid We ate, we drank, and we were merry And we got typhoid and dysentery But best of all, we went to the Plaza de Toros Now whenever I start feeling morose I revive by recalling that scene And names like Belmonte, Domingu'in, and Manolete If I live to a hundred and eighty I shall never forget what they mean Spoken: For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this World than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly A half a ton of angry pot roast! Out came the matador Who must have been potted or Slightly insane, but who looked rather bored Then the picadors of course Each one on his horse I shouted "Olé!" ev'ry time one was gored I cheered at the banderilleros' display As they stuck the bull in their own clever way For I hadn't had so much fun since the day My brother's dog Rover Got run over Spoken: Rover was killed by a Pontiac. And it was done With such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the Driver both ears and the tail – but I digress . . . The moment had come I swallowed my gum We knew there'd be blood on the sand pretty soon The crowd held its breath Hoping that death Would brighten an otherwise dull afternoon At last, the matador did what we wanted him to He raised his sword and his aim was true In that moment of truth, I suddenly knew That someone had stolen my wallet Now it's fiesta time in Akron, Ohio But it's back to old Guadalajara I'm longing to go Far away from the strikes of the A.F. of L. and C.I.O. How I wish I could get back To the land of the wetback And forget the Alamo In Old Mexico Olé!