I've got a dog and my dog can dance Just not in public and not with my friends I've got a girl and she's twenty-eight Now, I'm the coolest guy in all of eighth grade I know a kid that you've never met His dad was a rockstar, we smoked in his van I know a trick, do you want to see? I can be anything that I pretend to be We'll get out of this We'll get out of this too I'm not proud of this But I'm not proud of the truth And if you run from me Then I'll use my trick on you The truth is that I'm screwed I went to France and danced in the rain And told you all about it on our first date My dad doesn't lie so you can't meet my dad 'Cause you fell in love with the me that went to France We'll get out of this We'll get out of this too I'm not proud of this But I'm not proud of the truth And if you run from me Then I'll use my trick on you The truth is that we're screwed We'll get out of this 'Cause I love you, I do We'll get out of this 'Cause I love you, it's true But if you're doubting this If you're doubting that I do Then oh my God, I'm screwed