One hand clappin' Five toes tappin' A neighbor nappin' 'cross the hall Second guess This song is a mess Make a little progress Even if it's small All I know to tell Is do it till you get it right Playin' to an audience of one Better than an audience of none Playin' to an audience somewhere Better than a bunch of folks not there You could still have a lot of fun Givin' it all you've got For an audience of one It was a big night Marquee lights I seem to set impossible sights Medium posts drew a curious ghost Is she a fan or a miffed housewife? All I know to tell Is do it till you get it right Playin' to an audience of one Better than an audience of none Playin' to an audience somewhere No other job compares You could still have a lot of fun Givin' it all you've got For an audience of one Uno Un Back at home I'm never alone Hold the phone without fail No trepidation My motivation Is a standing ovation from a waggin' tail All I know to tell ya Is we finally got it right Playin' to an audience of one Better than an audience of none Playin' to an audience somewhere Better than a bunch of folks not there You could still have a lot of fun Givin' it all you've got For an audience of one