Why do stage struck maidens clamor To be actin' in the drammer? We've heard say You are gay Night and day. Oh, go 'way! We drink water from a dipper, You drink champagne from a slipper. Tho' it seems cruel to bust All your dreams, Still I must; Here's the truth I tell you: Life upon the wicked stage Ain't ever what a girl supposes; Stage door Johnnies aren't raging Over you with gems and roses. When you let a feller hold your hand (which Means an extra beer or sandwich), Ev'rybody whispers: "Ain't her life a whirl?" Though you're warned against a "rou�©" Ruining your reputation, I have played around The one night trade around A great big nation: Wild old men who give you jewels and sables Only live in Aesop's Fables. Life upon the wicked stage Ain't nothin' for a girl. Though we've listened to you moan and grieve, you Must pardon us if we do not believe you, There is no doubt You're crazy about Your awful stage! I admit it's fun To smear my face with paint, Causing ev'ryone To think I'm what I ain't, And I like to play a demi-mondy role With soul! Ask the hero does he Like the way I lure When I play a hussy Or a paramour, Yet when once the curtain's down My life is pure, And how I dread it! Life upon the wicked stage Ain't ever what a girl supposes, Stage door Johnnies aren't raging Over you with gems and roses. If some gentleman would talk with reason I would cancel all next season. Life upon the wicked stage Ain't nothin' for a girl! You'd be back the season after!