I don't have the magnetism Of a national hero I'm not desperate enough to Carry 'round a bomb in a bag And I hate to clean up behind my dog He's a pretty big guy and he eats like a hog I never quite get that haircut They have in the window I better give myself a talking to I better work out what I'm going to do Or maybe get myself a wife Or better get myself a life Instead of these post nuclear talking blues When I go to the store The express line gets derailed I know that none of my Batteries were included I fall down every time I drink I wash and all my whites turn pink And I always come home with Someone else's pants I better give myself a talking to I better work out what I'm going to do Or maybe get myself a wife Or better get myself a life Instead of these post nuclear talking blues The rain won't worry a drowning man Until his feet are on dry land He won't even care If his best shoes are full of sand Whenever my flight touches down My bags are in a different town And the customs men love To get intimate with me I better give myself a talking to I better work out what I'm going to do Maybe get myself a wife Better get myself a life Instead of these post nuclear talking blues And that's all