Take one ageing backroom clerk Take one spinster knitting tweed When you place them both together There are more than two mouths to feed Spin this creaking dockyard crane Turn that whining turbine drill When imposing new restrictions There are more than two mouths to fill Quaintly Ebeneezer, lemon tweezer Marigold conjunction Spindled forceps, mating doorsteps Where is all this cold compunction? In the nearness of the night when the phantom opera sings He'll be searching his discomfort at the tidings providence brings In the looseness of the thread when the vestment gains its width He'll be brandishing his tuba at the stomp of Mulligan's myths Quaintly Ebeneezer, lemon tweezer Marigold conjunction Highland garters, droning martyrs Where is all this cold compunction? Search through his chain mail coat There's no-one to report Stand by his lace-up shield There's seldom cause to joust, the contest endeth Quaintly Ebeneezer, lemon tweezer Marigold conjunction Fresian dairy, quite contrary Where is all this cold compunction? Glass-eyed with shaking hand The famous pinch of snuff Tongue-tied with trembling legs There's seldom need to walk, the pathway endeth Mercy be the time has flown! Tell the Verger he must wake Gather all the spangled fragments All the cinnamon he would take Throw nostalgia to the wind It will compensate your loss He delivers this contraption from all it's turpentine dross Quaintly Ebeneezer, lemon tweezer Marigold conjunction Mottled fawnings, mildewed awnings Where is all this cold compunction? Maybe lemon tweezer, Ebeneezer, Celluloid consumption Rearguard syndrome, toothless earcombe What is all this bleeding unction?