When I woke up this morning I was feelin' fine But this cat starts banging man what a swine So I called reception but to no avail That's why I'm telling you this sorry tale It went bang, I said, "Shut up" It went bang, I said, "Rap up" Well, I'm aware that the guy must do his work But the pile driver man drove me berserk He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot?" He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot?" He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot?" He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot do you want?" Once a lifetime, twice a day If you don't work you get no pay I been to the east, I been to the west But the girls I like best are the ones undressed Well, hello Adam, where you been? I said, "A'stand aside 'cause I'm feelin' mean" I've had a gutful of you and I'm feelin' bad 'Cause you're an ugly old pirate and ain't I glad He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot?" He said, "Captain", I said, "Wot?"