Otto Titsling

歌詞

Otto Titsling, inventor and Kraut, Had nothing to get very worked up about His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak He fled to the opera at least twice a week One night at the opera he saw an Aida Whose bust was so big it would often impede her Bug-eyed, he watched her fall into the pit, Done in by the weight of those terrible tits Oh my god! Thar she blows! Aerodynamically this girl was a mess. Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds, And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration Flood his soul. He ran back to his workshop Where he futzed and futzed and futzed For Otto Titsling had found his quest: To lift and mold the female breast To point the small ones to the sky To keep the big ones high and dry Every night he'd sweat and snort Searching for the right support He tried some string and paper clips Hey! He even tried his own two lips! Well, he stitched and he slaved, He slaved and he stitched Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning, Otto arose from his workbench triumphant Yes! He had invented the world's first Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder . Hooray! Exhausted but ecstatic, Otto ran Out to the diva bearing the prototype in his hot little hand. Now, the diva did not wanna try the darn thing on. But, after many initial mishaps, She finally did. And the sigh of relief that issued forth From her mouth Was so loud that it was mistaken by some To be the early onset of the Seraken Winds Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald With a vengeance! Ahhhhh! But little did Otto know, At the moment of his greatest triumph, Lurking under the diva's bed Was none other than the very worst Of the French patent thieves, Phillip DeBrassiere. And Phil was watching the scene With a great deal of interest! Later that night, while the Brunhilda slept, Into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore, Till he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door Crying, "Oh my god! What joy! What bliss! "I'm gonna make me a million from this! "Every woman in the world will wanna buy one. "I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan." The result of this swindle is pointedly clear: Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?