"Now, don't get married, don't get married", said my friend Nick Brown If you take a wife, you're out of luck for life He had all his little sons and daughters by his side Like happy hooligans, sixteen kids, they all lined up and cried Mama's got shoes, Mama's got clothes Mama's got these and Mama's got those But poor Papa, poor Papa, he's got nothin' at all Mama goes here, Mama goes there Mama goes out to every affair But poor Papa, poor Papa, he waits out in the hall Now, Christmas comes and Mama gets The most expensive frocks Papa gets a necktie And a pair of ten cent socks (And a pair of Woolworth socks") Everyone cheers when Mama appears And she's got diamonds stuck in her ears But poor Papa, poor Papa, he's got nothin' at all And Mama eats ham, Mama eats lamb Mama eats bread with strawberry jam And poor Papa, poor Papa, he eats nothin' at all Mama says "Oh!", Mama says "Ah!" Mama says "Boo!" and Mama says "Bah!" But poor Papa, poor Papa, he says nothin' at all Papa bought a limousine And the most expensive kind Now he wears a chaffeur's suit, hah-hah And Mama rides behind Mama's got silk, satin beneath She's got gold in all of her teeth But poor Papa, poor Papa, he's got no teeth at all