Johnny was a really great guy When you were depressed he'd help you cry Never crossed the grain of the throbbing masses Had the intelligence of natural gases He went off to die somewhere Johnny was fighting in a war But the girl in his bed was another whore Johnny was fighting for a cause Johnny came back wrapped up in gauze He went off to die somewhere Johnny you're selfless Just like Ellsworth Tooey you're selfless Go off and die somewhere What good were you anyway stupid asshole?