I got this wild woman lover, she's as strange as any other And she's always making fun outta me She got this foul-tempered, distempered, flea-infested dog Who likes to sit and watch TV He has this habit of destroying my guitars to get even with me, oh But that's only after Stevie's put a boot in his face. Well my gal must weigh a ton but she insists that she'll never diet I'd like to stick her with a pin to see her burst and some day I think I might And when she leaps into the bath it's a belly-aching laugh Oh it's something you all oughta see And whenever she's hungry, she hits me with a cane Oh she's such a barrel of fun Oh that's why I'll hang around from here to eternity, oh forever. Well she beats me like a slave and in the yard she's even plotted my grave, can you believe it ? I been verboten, forgotten and I've always had my own life to save When I was putting out the cat one night She kicked me out and wouldn't let me get back in It was seven below and I froze to the skin. Well she only relented when I swore she was the double of Brigitte Bardot Then I had to make a little love but I wasn't too slow, you know I coulda claimed I had another migraine but she'd only have yelled, oh She treats me like a dog that she dragged in from a bog Oh she's such a barrel of fun Oh that's why I'll hang around from here to eternity. Oh she pokes out my eyes, surprise, surprise Oh she's such a barrel of fun That's why I'll hang around from here to eternity, ooo. Forever, she's such fun. She's a barrel of fun …