He's not a well man And he's getting worse If he had any sense He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse A couple of big specialists High priced consultation And outside waiting in the hall Assorted logic small poor relations His aches have got aches His pains are in pain And what sizzles and frizzles Inside there all the smartest professors could not explain -they wouldn't know what? Be quick as you can I might haven't got You're dealing with not (cough!) With not a well man I'm not a well man Get worse every year All the medical doctors Give one look They're amazed I'm still here I should own a pharmacy For just my prescriptions My bills for only pills alone Would chill you to the bone With conniptions What I have been through No man could recite It would make your heart break And play a story that only Turn yet it maybe could write A tragical plot How can I plan? I might haven't got You're dealing with not (cough!) With not a well man I'm not a well man