Spoken: Welcome to Russian Bandstand This is your host, Nikita Clarkchev In Russia almost everybody watches Russian Bandstand (Machine gun fire) Now everybody watches Russian Bandstand Ha, ha, ha Next is number one song in Russia (Excerpt of Chuck Berry song played backwards) (But we don't like that song) You've got to like that song It's number one song (But we don't like...) (Machine gun fire) Who else doesn't like that song? (I don't like...) (Machine gun fire) (...any other song) Too late, comrade! Now, anybody else don't like? (We like that song) Alright, now a word from our sponsor. You better listen Light up Stroganoff New short length cigarette Each cigarette, two puffs That's all you got time for Work twenty-two hours a day salt mine It's only cigarette with microphone filter So be careful comrades, secret police are listening It's only cigarette I smoke, right Comrade Mamarelachev Right, only cigarette you can buy Next on the Russian Bandstand is country's number one singing star Nikita Presleychev What are you going to sing, Nikita (Chuck Berry song played backwards) No, that's wrong song (Machine gun fire) Tomorrow we have new number one singing star Tomorrow we have new number one song Hey, comrade, we are secret police Tomorrow we'll have new host on Russian Bandstand (Machine gun fire)