When people stare at me I trip Tell me a secret, oops I slipped I'll be on time, that's a promise Got a flat tire, what did I miss I'm lost and my dog ate my homework That really hot girl says I'm a jerk Chorus: If I plan to rise, I'll fall There's no lock on the bathroom stall IF NOT FOR BAD LUCK There'll be none at all, none at all, none at all I'll bet on the Clippers to win this year My fake I.D. gone, no more beer Got a speeding ticket my friend got a warning Can't get a date, I'm really, really horny Life is short so play hard No more helmets, sorry you retard Chorus When people stare at me I trip Tell me a secret, oops I slipped I'll be on time, that's a promise Got a flat tire, what did I miss I'm lost and my dog ate my homework That really hot girl says I'm a jerk Chorus