Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage Mrs. Worthington

歌詞

Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington. Don't put your daughter on the stage. The profession is overcrowded, And the struggle's pretty tough, And admitting the fact She's burning to act, That isn't quite enough. She has nice hands, Give the wretched girl her due, But don't you think her bust is too Developed for her age? I repeat, Mrs. Worthington, Sweet Mrs. Worthington, Don't put your daughter on the stage. Regarding yours, Dear Mrs. Worthington, Of Wednesday the twenty-third, Although your baby May be keen on a stage career, How can I make it clear This is not a good idea? For her to hope, Dear Mrs. Worthington, Is, on the face of it, absurd. Her personality Is not, in reality, Exciting enough, Inviting enough, For this particular sphere. Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington, Don't put your daughter on the stage. She's a bit of an ugly duckling, You must honestly confess, And the width of her seat Would surely defeat Her chances of success. It's a loud voice, And though it's not exactly flat, She'll need a little more than that, To earn a living wage. On my knees, Mrs. Worthington, Please, Mrs. Worthington, Don't put your daughter on the stage! Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington, Don't put your daughter on the stage. Though they said at the school of acting She was lovely as Peer Gynt, I fear on the whole An ingénue role Would emphasize her squint. She's a big girl, And though her teeth are fairly good, She's not the type I ever would Be eager to engage. No more buts, Mrs. Worthington! Nuts, Mrs. Worthington! Don't put your daughter on the stage!