I've been at odd's with a restless soul I've felt the pain whenI lost control I said the words but could not explain The hurt fades but the scars remain Got myself into situations Ignored the threats and ministrations Guilt choked by my last breath I scared myself to death So take my tears take all my fucking pain I hope you're entertained I fell prey to my own theatrics Been diagnosed by the psychiatrics Mistakes that i have made I've left myself betrayed I've lied to those i love I'd medicate but there's never enough No tears for the lives I've wrecked I've lost my self respect And now I'm reaching back And I'm trying to make things right And through my past I've gained a deeper sight I'm less than proud of what I've done But I know I've got to change Somehow I know it's only just begun Begun to change it's all on me There's no one else to take the blame But I'm still caught up in this game