Well, I've had a splittin' headache from my eyebrows to my backbone Arthritis appendicitis brights disease and gall stones Bleedin' ulcers ingrown toe nails swollen adenoids The Asian flu a time or two and inflamed vocal chords I've had a toothache so severe my jawbone split in two But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you. Well, I've had the lit end of a cigar pressed against my belly Whupped on with a crowbar till my eyeball turned to jelly Accidentally nailed my index finger to the wall Cut off half my toes and soaked my foot in alcohol I've had my pelvis ruptured by an angry kangaroo But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you. Well, it's not because you measure fifty, twenty, forty-four It's surely not because you own a chain of liquor stores It's not because your daddy is the richest man in town It's just that I've grown used to you and having you around. I've had my parents tell me son we don't love you at all I've seen my sister's name written on a washroom wall My best friend set my barn on fire burned my horse to death I went out with a girl who told me that I had bad breath Last week I drew a crowd when I went to the city zoo But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you. Well, I've had a splittin' headache from my eyebrows to my backbone Arthritis appendicitis brights disease and gall stones Bleedin' ulcers ingrown toe nails swollen adenoids The Asian flu a time or two and inflamed vocal chords I've had a toothache so severe my jawbone split in two But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you