The wife thinks he's going to the Holiday Inn To watch Monday Night Football In the bar with his friends But the game on his mind ain't the one on TV It's on Monday night cheating in Room 203 They meet in the barroom while the crowd finds a seat The TV's turned on, they're turned on to cheat With a toss of the coin they see who gets the ball And when it comes time for kickoff They slip down the hall It's Monday night cheatin' at the local motel And they won't be missing Howard Cosell They'll love till it's over Till the clocks out of time And then slip away till next Monday night He's stops at the bar before he heads home To have one short drink and find out the score Was Pittsburgh the winner? Did they lose or tie? He's got to know cause it's his alibi It's Monday night cheatin' at the local motel...