Las Vegas Version I took Felicia to Las Vegas, here's my story She spent the weekend eating chicken cacciatore But when I said "I'd like to kiss ya"... Felicia... "no capisce"... The way she gambled at the tables wasn't funny You should have seen the way she found to lose my money But when I said "I'd like to kiss ya"... Felicia... "no capisce"... She understood (she understood) She heard me good (she heard me good) When I said "Have some real imported cheese" But when I said (but when I said) "Give me a squeeze" ("Give me a squeeze") You'd think that I was talking Japanese... She never heard about the birds and bees... While she was half abruzzese, half calabrese... You gotta see the things I bought her I took her out and spent my money just like water But when I said "I'd like to kiss ya"... Felicia... "no capisce" (no she didn't understand no she didn't understand) She heard me fine (she heard me fine) When I said "Dine" (when I said "Dine") Then she drank half a case of wine But when I said (but when I said) "Come on let's spoon" ("Come on let's spoon") You'd think that I was asking for the moon... That chick was really as crazy as a loon... She was half siciliana and what a baboon... I tried to make her feel relaxed It costed me 97 dollars for the taxi But when I said "I'd like to kiss ya"... Felicia... "no capisce" She said "Luigi... Let's get married" And Luigi... "no capisce..." Coney Island Version I took Felicia out to Coney She ate a fortune in ziti and macaroni But when I said "I'd love ta kiss ya" Felicia no capicia You gotta see the things I bought her I took her out and spent my money just like water But when my heart got fever-icia Felicia no capicia She knew the names of all the eats She knew the sweets, the vegetables and meats But when it came to makin' love She was as cold as yesterday's a-piz As cold ha ha No matter what she craves I bring her I went in hock to put a ring upon her finger But when I said "I'd love ta kiss ya" Felicia no capicia She understood, she hear me good When I said "Have some real imported cheese" But when I said "Give me a squeeze" You'd think I was talking Portuguese And all the time she was a Calabrese I tried to make her feel relaxing I even took her home to Brooklyn in a taxi But when I said "I'd love ta kiss ya" Felicia no capicia Then I said "Lola, let me hold ya" Felicia no capicia And then I said "Lola, let me squeeze ya" Felicia no capicia Then she said "Wella, first let's get married" Luigi -- no capici