Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What's that little twerp gonna say? Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes To Camp" I could sit and count my hair I could burp my Tupperware I'm not busy now anyway Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today I can do anything I want to I am invincible now I'm on fire, baby I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world? I'm alive! Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun and trying not to squint Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint When I'm sick of takin' abuse I just make up some lame excuse Freedom's just seven digits away Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today