Three signs of an Airman: Practical Jokes Nervousness before taking off A rapid healing after injury Three kinds of enemy walk: A grandiose stunt A melancholic stagger A paranoiac sidle Three kinds of enemy bearing: A Condor's stoop A Toad's stupor A Robin's stance Three kinds of enemy base: The fucked hen The favourite puss A stone in the rain Three turns of enemy speech: "I mean" "Quite frankly" "Speaking as a scientist, etc." Three enemy questions: "Am I boring you?" "Could you tell me the time?" "Are you sure you're fit enough?" Three results of an enemy victory: Impotence Cancer Paralysis Three counterattacks: Complete mastery of the air Last over ten is moving again Last over nine I forgot my sign Last over eight It's getting late Last over seven why aren't there eleven? Last over six I don't like these tricks The lady's just cleared away tea and I shall not be disturbed till supper I shall be quite alone in this room Free to think of you if I choose And believe me, my dear, I do chose For a long time now I've been aware That she'll be taking up more of my life every day But I've always been surprised to find out how far this has gone It's getting late and I have to be up betimes in the morning You're so quiet these days and I get quite nervous Remove the dressing...banana's sake you're still there The wireless this evening says that the frost is coming When it does we know what to expect, don't we? But I'm calm, I can wait The surgeon is dead right Nothing will ever part us Good night and God bless you, my dear Better burn this Last day but five, thank god it's alive Last day but four, I can't live any more Last day but three, nice looking at me Last day but two, what shall I do? Last day but one, I think I'll run Last day of all, It's here and I fall August 23rd. 3pm. We are lost. A cart has just passed carrying the plaster Eagle. The enemy are going to attack. GHQ commands: 1. That the attack take place on August 28th. First penetration of the hostile position 7.10am 2. A fake landing by pleasure paddle steamers near the bathing machines on beach 5 3. A main frontal attack, divisions to be concentrated in the Shenley Brickfields, and moved forwards to the battle zone in bakers vans disguised as nuns First day of mobilisation. At the pre-arranged zero hour, the widow bent into a hoop with arthritis gives the signal for attack by unbending on the steps of St.Philips. Fifth day, pressure of ice, falling fire The last snarl of families beneath the toppling column Fighting and wounds as if sutures dare (Radio: ... flying lessons?) Twenty four (Radio: ...Count Zeppelin?) Four days. (Radio {garble}) What's the use of counting them now? (Radio {garble}) Now what have I written? (Radio {garble}) Thoughts suitable to a sanatorium (Radio {garble}) Three days to break a lifetime's pride (Radio {garble}) 28 3.40am Pulses and reflexes normal Barometric reading 30.6 Mean temperature 30 degrees Fahrenheit Fair Some Cumulus cloud at ten thousand feet Wind Easterly and moderate Hands in perfect order