A HORSE NAMED BILL I had a horse, his name was Bill And when he ran, he couldn't stand still He ran away, one day And also, I ran with him He ran so hard he couldn't stop He ran into a barber's shop He fell exhausted, with his teeth In the barber's left shoulder Oh I went out into the woods last year To hunt for beer and not for deer I am, I ain't A great, sharp shooter At shooting birds, I am a beaut There is no bird I cannot shoot In the eye, in the ear, in the finger In Frisco Bay there lives a whale And she eats porkchops by the bale By the hatbox, by the pillbox, by the hogshead, by the schooner Her name is Lena, she is a peach But don't leave food within her reach Or babies, or nursemaids, or chocolate ice cream sodas She loves to laugh and when she smiles You just see teeth for miles and miles And tonsils, and spareribs, and things to fierce to mention She knows no games so when she plays She rolls her eyes for days and days She vibrates, she yodels, and breaks the ten commandments Oh wheat can you do in a case like that Oh what can you do but stamp on your hat Or on an eggshell, or a toothbrush, or anything that's helpless